hero

 

hunter/gatherer ; lover/fighter

Five foot three and almost responsible enough to set her own alarm clock. Good whistler. Even better liar. Friends with freckles and cut-up hands; enemies with everyone else. She can sing most of the jingles on commercials and that's either sad or pretty cool. She can wear fishnet tights and usually people don't bug her about it too much. She goes to school, she goes to sleep on the couch. Alas, an ordinary world where chocolate cake is for breakfast and girls are in love with their own shadows. Fingers like candy cigarettes, home like Sundays after church. She says "I love you" and she means it. She says "I hate you" and she means it, sometimes. Ordinary world where everything happens to somebody else. She always finds someone else to blame. Ordinary world where linoleum is beautiful and the sky is made of buttered toast. She loves you so much that she almost doesn't believe that love even exists.

She's the hero, here to save the day.

And that's when the world ends. What an adventure. Everyone's dead, and good thing too, because she probably doesn't know how to save a life anymore than she knows how to fix a tire.

What the studio audience would like to know:

1. How many miles from here to San Clemente?
2. Wait, can she even sing the "Stanley Steamers" jingle?

3. When will she get her driver's license?

4. Was that a cop-out? (answer: probably)

This has been The Devastation Diaries.